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11 October, 2011

ECO Speak!

You can find my views on the ECO warriors in various places on this blog and if you have seen them you will know that I believe global warming is a natural phenomena, photo cells on the roof are a waste of money and fitting a smart meter is as much use as, well a smart meter.

But what I do love about the ECO set is the language they are developing.

Recently on an episode of Dragons Den we had a woman telling us that she is "ECO focused" , fantastic, but what the hell does it mean and then we have various people on TV claiming the be "Green Focused" . Ah ha, I know that one because as a kid we had a really clapped out colour TV which if you didn't hit it just right when it warmed up everything was green and out of focus.

We have others who are environmentally aware, well good for you, just try and find a living thing that isn't aware of its environment, and even better we have people who claim to be environmentally friendly, ahh thats nice.

It is all such tosh, "I like to buy Eco" , "I only support green charities" there is even "green parenting" none of it means anything, just as "carbon neutral housing" and "sustainable development" are just buz words that people latch onto.

Whatever happened to the good old days, when you had simply "tree huggers" at least it gave us a clue what it meant.

Adult Content Blocker

One of the top news items today has been that some ISPs have decided to offer the ability to block adult content on their broadband packages.

This sounds simple enough but there is probably more to this than they think.

For example what will the application form say something like "Wanking material required Yes/NO" and how does any man explain to his wife/girlfriend/SOH that he has left the yes box ticked.

And if the original contract is set up with no access to the adult content it could quite possibly result in the following call to the call centre. Remember the call centre staff are Indian :-

Call Centre - Hello, welcome to ETalkTalk how can I be helping you today
Caller - Um, yes, well I would like to remove the block on the adult content on my broadband
CC - OK, thank you, well I just need to go through security, please to confirm your name
Caller - Yes, Um , well John Smith
CC - OK, thank you, and the number for which you are calling about
Caller - Well, its this one 0207934100
CC - I am very sorry but I am not seeing Smith with that phone number, can you confirm that you are the account holder
Caller - Um, well actually its my wife.
CC - Sorry but we don't have Mrs Smith on that account.
Caller - N0, OK, alright my its under the name Cameron, Mrs Cameron
CC - but your name is Smith?
Caller - No, please, the account is for this number and its my wife Mrs Cameron
CC - Can I talk to the account holder then please
Caller - No, she is away but its OK
CC - Ok, Mr Smith Cameron and you would like to remove the adult content filter, am I correct?
Caller - Yes.
CC - And your wife is away?
Caller - Yes,
CC - I see
Caller - look this isn't difficult I just want the filter removed please because we don't need it
CC - OK, thank you that is fine I am removing the filter. That has been done for you now. Is there anything else I can do for you today.
Caller - No thats its thank you
CC OK , I am sending a text confirmation to the account holder Mrs Cameron, thank you for being with ETalkTalk ........ click .......brrrrrrrrrrrrr
Caller - No you dont need to send a text ....... hello........ hell !